Attention 101

Quick lecture on how anyone who would like attention, can make sure they are given it.

1. Find an issue, any issue will do, but the more attractive and attention-grabbing the better.
2. No matter what, take the exact opposite opinion of that issue. You will get even more attention if you come up with your own suggested course of action that is the polar-opposite of the one taken in said issue.
3. It helps to have a title, any title will do, if one is not already available to you, create one. Start by coming up with an organization that sounds impressive, like say "Ethical Politics Now" or EPN for short (the media loves acronyms!) Then, install yourself as director, that way when the headline is written, it can say something like "Director of EPN says...."
4. Humour tends to be the best format for what you have to say, the funnier you sound, the more you will be quoted, and should another person or group also be commenting on this same issue, be sure to be more clever than they are, that way you will get ahead of them in your quote. In fact, humour is more important than fact, remember that.
5. Find your nearest reporter, doesn't matter what type of media really, for if you get on TV, newspaper will likely follow, and vice versa.

There you have it! Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame. If that isn't enough for you, repeat steps 1 through 5. Don't worry if you contradict yourself by saying something that might be different to what you may have said in the past, the media has a brilliant way of looking the other way when facts get in the way of a good story!

Enjoy!

Now, any story can easily go along with this easy 5 step program. Particularly those featuring opposition parties all across the country. However, I particularly like this one. No, Premier Klein wasn't "asked" to consider something, he wasn't even "encouraged", nope, he was "told!"